Thursday, June 3, 2010

Breaking News! President Obama Takes S#%t in White House

Dissociated Press--June 3, 2010
Republicans strongly criticized President Obama today for taking a dump in the White House. Senate minority leader Mitch McConnell said, "President Obama promised a different kind of administration. He promised the cleanest, most open administration in history. Yet here he is dropping a load in the people's sacred house. And how open is the President about this? This is the worst kind of backroom deal. This is hidden away from public view in the President's personal bathroom with no video cameras or reporters present. If the President is going to continue this dirty, fudge-factory business-as-usual in the people's house, then he should at least set up C-SPAN cameras in the Presidential john so that the American people watch him laying his bricks and can judge the defecation for themselves."

A high ranking White House official, speaking on condition of anonymity because he had not been cleared to discuss fecal matters, said, "This is a perfectly normal biological function, one that presidents have engaged in as a matter of course for generations. No one regrets the need for the unpleasantness of private, biological turd-making any more than the President does. Especially after last night's chili. Since Senate Republicans put a secret hold on Obama's nominee for his personal chef, he's had to rely on rejects from Fox Television's Hell's Kitchen and their cooking does not always agree with the Presidential digestion. Until Washington changes its way of taking dumps, President Obama has no choice but to bake his own brownies in the same way."

Opinions differ on the President's crapping in the White House, but two things are certain: The President will continue to drop deuces in the porcelain throne, and Republicans will continue to criticize him for it.

Inspired by this.

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